She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Boobs are out for the taking
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
