he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
