I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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