Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
