You're my little dorito
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
