a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
