Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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