i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
