Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
