please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
