Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
