Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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