Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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