Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
