My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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