at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
