When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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