I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
