I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I had to cum in my sink.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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