your parents love me but you hate me
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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