No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
