there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
My pussy is not your playground.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
