dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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