I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
We don't watch enough power rangers
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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