I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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