Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Randomize
