i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
