My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
