im drinking this country out of the recession.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
