I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
