so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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