who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
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