It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
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