College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
