I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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