He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
