her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Ladies don't puke and tell
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
