oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Randomize
