he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
My penis needs a shock collar
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
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