Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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