she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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