I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
