Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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