what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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