Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
