I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
