Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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