the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
