I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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