My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
