I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize