He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
