It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
