this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
