im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
