There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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