we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
