Porn is love you can see.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
