Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
