Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
