So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Randomize
