You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
