Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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